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[knowledgeordeath]

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[samahl]

Then I'm happy to talk.

You know, I feel like I always ask so many questions of you. Is there anything you wanted to know about me?

[knowledgeordeath]

[He's quiet then, considering the question. As he does, he studies Cyril. Taking him in.]

How is it that you are not involved with someone already? You have the nature that should make it easy for you.

[In his opinion anyway.]

[samahl]

[Cyril is surprised by that question and after a moment, he looks away. His expression gets more thoughtful. It takes him a moment to work up the courage to answer honestly and then when he speaks he can't look at Kolivan.]

It's not.

Easy for me, I mean.

Sex is easy, but anything more complex than that I utterly fall apart.

[knowledgeordeath]

[He tilts his head at that. It's surprising actually, not the answer he expected.]

Why is that? Why would you fall apart when it goes beyond sex?

[samahl]

[He takes a breath, and has to fight back to urge to shut this down and run.]

I've no idea. It's been like that since I was young. The last time it happened was... a few months before you arrived on the Fleet.

[knowledgeordeath]

[He can sense the nervous energy coming from Cyril and reaches over to rest a hand on his knee so he can know that he can be open here. That he doesn't need to run from this.]

Yet you try to open yourself to this with me.

[samahl]

[The touch helps. It feels like an anchor. Kolivan's hand is so large and strong against him, and it feels almost like a shield.]

Because you deserve that

[knowledgeordeath]

Is this what you want with me?

[samahl]

What I want first and foremost is to be your friend.

[knowledgeordeath]

And you are. Do you have interest in us being together intimately in an emotional way?

[samahl]

[Cyril makes a slight face, but it's not against Kolivan so much at his own emotional state at being asked such a question.

He opens and closes his mouth a couple of times.]

Kolivan... Answering that question feels like it will hurt me.

I'm trying but...

[knowledgeordeath]

[He nods at that and keeps his hand on his knee.]

I will not fault you for that.

[Looking outwards again, he was quiet a moment or so.]

When did you learn to use a bow?

[samahl]

[Cyril sighs, thankful to Kolivan for the subject change.]

When I was young. Dalish tend to have roles they fall into. My brother wanted to be a hunter, so I became one as well. He is a dual wielder, so it made sense for me to learn to be a ranged fighter.

[knowledgeordeath]

That was practical. You have skill with the weapon as well.

[samahl]

Thank you. It started by hunting for food for the Clan and defending us against outsiders, and then when I became part of the Inquisition it was for fighting off monsters.

When I lost my arm, I wasn't sure I would ever be the same with it, but this technology has given that back to me. [He wiggles the cybernetic fingers on his left arm.]

I wish I could take this knowledge back to Thedas. It would help so many people.

[knowledgeordeath]

It would possibly destroy the order between universes if that was something that could happen. You will not be as you are now but that doesn't mean you cannot aid your people.

[He rarely says things like this, Cyril. Accept it.]

[samahl]

[Cyril does, and he smiles.]

I know...

I'm trying my best back home with the time I have left. Here's hoping that version of me does all right for himself.

[knowledgeordeath]

[That phrasing...]

The time you have left?

[samahl]

[Oh. Right.

He hasn't really told Kolivan about.... any of that.]

Ah. Yes.

You see, the magic that took my arm isn't entirely gone from my body. Removing the limb bought me time... But...

[He isn't really into finishing that sentence.]

[knowledgeordeath]

You will die when you go back.

[That wouldn't be the easiest thing to live with. He knows that. Yet here is Cyril living with it each day. It makes him feel more impressed with him honestly...]

[samahl]

Sooner rather than later.

The mage the magic belonged to said it was inevitable but he plans to destroy the world before I waste away, so perhaps I'll die along with everyone else.

If I can figure out a way to stop him before that, then the world will go on and I won't.

[knowledgeordeath]

So you make the most of it. For everyone involved.

[samahl]

That's my hope, anyway.

I couldn't live with my last moments comfortably if I realized there was something more I could do with them.

[knowledgeordeath]

And you should do all you can with the time that you have.

[samahl]

Exactly.

Honestly, this Fleet has been a bit of a vacation. There are mages here who help with the pain and it gave me time to regroup.

I met another elf from a different reality who was similar to me, though she had fallen in love with the one who did this to us. We compared notes, but... Still no closer to figuring out his plan.