[Cyril is surprised by that question and after a moment, he looks away. His expression gets more thoughtful. It takes him a moment to work up the courage to answer honestly and then when he speaks he can't look at Kolivan.]
It's not.
Easy for me, I mean.
Sex is easy, but anything more complex than that I utterly fall apart.
[He can sense the nervous energy coming from Cyril and reaches over to rest a hand on his knee so he can know that he can be open here. That he doesn't need to run from this.]
[Cyril sighs, thankful to Kolivan for the subject change.]
When I was young. Dalish tend to have roles they fall into. My brother wanted to be a hunter, so I became one as well. He is a dual wielder, so it made sense for me to learn to be a ranged fighter.
Thank you. It started by hunting for food for the Clan and defending us against outsiders, and then when I became part of the Inquisition it was for fighting off monsters.
When I lost my arm, I wasn't sure I would ever be the same with it, but this technology has given that back to me. [He wiggles the cybernetic fingers on his left arm.]
I wish I could take this knowledge back to Thedas. It would help so many people.
It would possibly destroy the order between universes if that was something that could happen. You will not be as you are now but that doesn't mean you cannot aid your people.
[He rarely says things like this, Cyril. Accept it.]
[That wouldn't be the easiest thing to live with. He knows that. Yet here is Cyril living with it each day. It makes him feel more impressed with him honestly...]
The mage the magic belonged to said it was inevitable but he plans to destroy the world before I waste away, so perhaps I'll die along with everyone else.
If I can figure out a way to stop him before that, then the world will go on and I won't.
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Now the question is, what will you do with me. [Which he says as suggestively as he can manage.]
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You know, I feel like I always ask so many questions of you. Is there anything you wanted to know about me?
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How is it that you are not involved with someone already? You have the nature that should make it easy for you.
[In his opinion anyway.]
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It's not.
Easy for me, I mean.
Sex is easy, but anything more complex than that I utterly fall apart.
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Why is that? Why would you fall apart when it goes beyond sex?
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I've no idea. It's been like that since I was young. The last time it happened was... a few months before you arrived on the Fleet.
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Yet you try to open yourself to this with me.
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Because you deserve that
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He opens and closes his mouth a couple of times.]
Kolivan... Answering that question feels like it will hurt me.
I'm trying but...
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I will not fault you for that.
[Looking outwards again, he was quiet a moment or so.]
When did you learn to use a bow?
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When I was young. Dalish tend to have roles they fall into. My brother wanted to be a hunter, so I became one as well. He is a dual wielder, so it made sense for me to learn to be a ranged fighter.
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When I lost my arm, I wasn't sure I would ever be the same with it, but this technology has given that back to me. [He wiggles the cybernetic fingers on his left arm.]
I wish I could take this knowledge back to Thedas. It would help so many people.
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[He rarely says things like this, Cyril. Accept it.]
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I know...
I'm trying my best back home with the time I have left. Here's hoping that version of me does all right for himself.
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The time you have left?
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He hasn't really told Kolivan about.... any of that.]
Ah. Yes.
You see, the magic that took my arm isn't entirely gone from my body. Removing the limb bought me time... But...
[He isn't really into finishing that sentence.]
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[That wouldn't be the easiest thing to live with. He knows that. Yet here is Cyril living with it each day. It makes him feel more impressed with him honestly...]
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The mage the magic belonged to said it was inevitable but he plans to destroy the world before I waste away, so perhaps I'll die along with everyone else.
If I can figure out a way to stop him before that, then the world will go on and I won't.
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I couldn't live with my last moments comfortably if I realized there was something more I could do with them.
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